One week in the life of an AS student...

Monday 8th March
School a strange blur of teachers trying to club their way through my fuzzy, it's-Monday-so-why-are-you-even-trying? brain and, for the most part, failing utterly. Came home and stared at a history essay for a while, quite convinced that if I continued it would realise my intentions and promptly write itself. Failing this, watched Cranford and went to bed. Completely pointless say.

Tuesday 9th March
Straight to Grandma's after school having been given the I-won't-live-forever phone call and the ensuing guilt trip. Spent the following hour being steadily forcefed Mars Bars, chocolate digestives and cups of tea. God bless Grandmas. Went for a HPV jab and regarded the girl in front of me with utter disdain when she fainted on sight of the needle - it didn't even touch her. I'm sorry, but pull yourself together love. Went babysitting almost as soon as getting home, spent several hours pretending to be entertained by Barbie and High School Musical whilst physically restraining the urge to gag. Having put the manic children to bed, was attacked by dog and left at midnight with furry jeans, mental scarring and crazy eyes.

Wednesday 10th March
Traditional Orange Wednesday cinema trip -- this week to see Alice in Wonderland. Still more evidence of teenage actors being completely useless ("Oh look, I've just fell hundreds of feet down a rabbit hole and am trapped in a tiny room with doors I can't open, but none of this bothers me because a little bottle over there is telling me to drink it!") and Johnny Depp being to the acting world what Stephen Fry is to my useless trivia knowledge. Followed by mad rush to attempt an essay before 7:00 meal for Kayley's birthday at an all-you-can-eat Japanese place. Tried sushi. Somewhat unsurprisingly, it tastes like raw fish (i.e. cold, slimy and essentially gross). Walked home amongst group of madly singing friends, blushing madly and attempting to blend into the background whenever passing some poor, bemused sod of a stranger.

Thursday 11th March
Went to see school production of Grease. Unsurprisingly fell in love - along with the female population of my school - with the guy playing Danny, despite knowing his 'rep'. Cringed through someone's murdering of 'Beauty School Dropout' and screamed blue murder at friend Tom's solo. My orders were on pain of death.

Friday 12th March
Girl's night in -- wine + ice cream + 3 for £5 films = success. Well actually, one of the films - A Life Less Ordinary - proved that if you think Ewan McGregor, Cameron Diaz and Danny Boyle are a winning combination, you would be so very, very wrong. Seriously.

Saturday 13th March
Grease aftershow party. That's pretty much all I can recall from the day. Oh, plus yet another unsuccessful attempt at an essay. Essay situation becoming serious.

Sunday 14th March
Mother's day -- arrived home 1.00amish and set about madly searching for wrapping paper, with lots of "Where the hell is that ****ing CARD?!?!" and whacking limbs on doorframes due to temporarily forgetting location of lightswitch. Arose in the afternoon for traditional (apparently) mother's day meal of jambolaya and tiramisu. Don't ask. Once again stared at growing pile of work like it owed me something. Grew angry at being ignored by work. Realised was fuming at inanimate objects and spent a good hour devising an excuse as to why I hadn't written my history essay. Read the fourth Percy Jackson book - mainly because it didn't involve the words "personal rule", "Charles I", "Wentworth" or "policies". Somehow seemed to travel through time and arrive at 2.03am. Collapsed into bed and tried to recall brilliant excuse for lack of history essay. Failed.