You can probably assess how much work I’ve done in a month, purely from reading these end-of-month-review blogs. If there were a lot of books and music and not many films, that would mean I’d done quite a lot – I listen to music whilst I’m working and wind-down after intense essay sessions with a good book. If there are a shedload of films and one book, that pretty much means I spent the month bunking off at the cinema. And February 2011? Well, see for yourself...
Films
1. Tangled - I'm a bit of a Disney fangirl. Thought I'd warn you straight off the mark. I REALLY enjoyed this. I mean, people will judge those like me who get a real kick out of cliche lines, predictable plots and spontaneous musical numbers, but I left that cinema with a smile splitting my face, so figure out for yourself whether or not I care.
2. Hereafter - zzzzzzzzzz, sorry what? I think I was expecting too much of this, but of the three storylines that kind of bumped clumsily together at the end, I was only actually interested in one. And in that one, a character behaved so unforgivably stupidly that I lost interest in that too. Not a BAD film, just a dull one.
3. Cherrybomb - obviously this wasn't at the cinema, but I'm going through a bit of a Robert Sheehan-stalking episode, and I'd already watched both series of Misfits, back-to-back. Oh yeah. I'm cool. Anyway, the ending of this kind of annoyed me, but I did enjoy it - could have done with a few more laughs, but ultimately a good, fast-paced, gripping film.
4. True Grit - it's Oscar season, so as a film buff I had to give this a shot, and was shocked how much I enjoyed it. I had absolutely no idea what the hell Jeff Bridges was saying throughout (he was going for 'drunken cowboy' and hit the mark at 'whaaaaaaaaaa??'), but Matt Damon is usually good value and the little girl - Hailee Steinfeld - was genuinely extraordinary. She was the highlight of the whole film for me, and one to watch for the future....
5. True Grit - contrary to what I'm sure you're thinking, I did not accidentally type this twice. After seeing the new one at the cinema, my dad (who's a hardcore John Wayne fangirl) insisted I watch the original. It was alright actually; films made before the 70s do tend to get on my nerves, but this was good - though I have to say that the general standard of acting has risen markedly in the past forty years or so. Curiously, the character that made the new version great nearly ruined the original - Kim Darby made Mattie Ross a shrill, girly, hyper-irritating and thoroughly grit-less character, which kind of stamped on the whole point of the film...
6. Paul - Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are one of those duos whom I usually take with a pinch of salt. They strike the occasional hilarity chord, but I can generally take them or leave them. But this was great. Much, much funnier than I had expected, and if I ever meet and alien, I will be crushed if it does not sound like Seth Rogen.
Music
1. Gavin DeGraw - 'Free' - this was leant to me by a friend, and it was quite good. Not an extraordinary album, but one of those with a couple of doozies and a couple of gems. Worth a listen, certainly. Favourite tracks: 'Dancing Shoes', 'Stay' and 'Lover Be Strong'.
2. Glee - 'The Music, vol. 1' - I know, I know. You can be forgiven for judging me. In my defence, I actually bought this album as a present for a friend, but it was in my bag during the great Coke Spill of '10, so I had to buy her a clean copy and kept this one. I have to say though, think what you like about Glee - they have done some pretty awesome covers. Hoenstly. Favourite tracks: 'Take A Bow', 'Somebody To Love' and 'Defying Gravity'.
3. Kate Rusby - 'Make The Light' - I said you'd be hearing more about this lovely lady from me, and it does not end here - I'm going to see her live in August, so you have been warned. Anyway, this is (I THINK) her most recent album, and compiled of more original than covered work, and I loved it. Not as good as Awkward Annie, but still a superb album that I'll be listening to for years to come. Favourite tracks: 'The Wishing Wife', 'Only Hope' and 'Shout To The Devil'.
Books
1. Paper Towns - John Green - see the last-but-one post for full details on the pure awesomeness that is this book.
2. Looking For Alaska - John Green - whenever I've read an extraordinary book, I'm always very hesitant before reading anything else from that author, because I always expect it to disappoint. Especially as this was written before Paper Towns, and deals with more depressing subject matter, to say I was dubious is putting it mildly. And whilst it wasn't as good as Paper Towns, I did really enjoy it, and thus have no qualms whatsoever about buying and reading John Green's third book - An Abundance of Katherines.
3. Collected Poems - W.H. Auden - I never used to be much of a poetry person, but a friend bought me a 'Collected Works' for Christmas and, of all the mini-books in it, Auden is by far and away my favourite (with the possible exception of John Keats). We've all heard 'Funeral Blues', but that isn't even close to Auden's best work, so seriously -- give it a shot. This guy is amazing.
Monday, 28 February 2011
Saturday, 19 February 2011
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Fun fact for ya' - nine times out of ten, I click 'New Post' with absolutely no idea what I'm going to write about. This is one of those times.
So this morning, my dad and I had a conversation that went a bit like this: -
Dad: Oh, what days are you free to go to Blackpool overnight to visit Auntie Barbara?
Me: Um, I don't want to go. At least, I don't really want to stay overnight. I've got loads of work to do and, you know, I want to see my friends. I'd be more than happy to go up for the day, though.
Dad: Well, we might be able to go up for just a day...*pondering face*
Me: *hopeful* I'm not really sure what days I'm free yet because nothing has been organised for definite - it's all just speculation and 'save the date' typed stuff.
Dad: If it's not planned for certain then it doesn't take priority. Can you do Thursday-Friday night.
Me:...I thought we weren't going overnight? And no I can't; I'm going to Kayley's that night.
Dad: Well that would be the best night for us...and Auntie Barbara would really like to see you. I'll ring her and ask if Thursday night is good for her.
Me: *head explodes*
*Dad exits the room, signifying the end of the epic fail that is Family Compromise*
But for a brief moment there, I thought I was going to be faced with the kind of decision I HATE making. It's not the 'massively-important-to-your-future' kind; I'm actually pretty good with those. Because you just need to do the reasearch, weigh the pros and cons, maybe get a bit of experience of the options your considering and make an informed decision on which alternative would suit you best. And it's not the little ones, where you generally don't mind which option is chosen. I'll just flip a coin and go with whatever. No, the decisions I hate are the conscience vs. preference type. Allow me to explain.
These HORRIBLE decisions, are basically the ones where you have two options.
Option 1: you don't want to do it, but feel morally obliged to, or have been guilt-tripped into it.
Option 2: you do want to do it, but will somehow be branded a horrible, selfish person if you take it.
Examples: - Do I help Grandma take her shopping back, or disappoint her and actually have lunch, with my friends. Do I go to through the hassle and expense of going to see that play with that person I'm not massively good friends with, or disappoint him and spend an evening relaxing with a good book. Do I go and see the old and frail(ish) auntie in Blackpool, or disappoint my dad and pass a few hilarious hours with my friends. See the dilemma?
And I HATE it, because I almost always take the good-person route, and almost always wish I'd taken the selfish-but-fun one. Admittedly, sometimes the less appealing option surprises me. The play with that friend turned out to be a really nice evening, and there have been many examples of friends guilting me into going to a party I couldn't really be arsed with, which I subsequently really enjoyed. So it CAN happen. Somehow, though, I don't think visiting Auntie Barbara is going to be a riot of surprising excitement. But I know I'll end up going anyway (largely because, in the end, my dad made the decision for me, albeit in a blunt and insensitive fashion). Sometimes I think I'm just too plagued by guilt for my own good. Sigh.
So this morning, my dad and I had a conversation that went a bit like this: -
Dad: Oh, what days are you free to go to Blackpool overnight to visit Auntie Barbara?
Me: Um, I don't want to go. At least, I don't really want to stay overnight. I've got loads of work to do and, you know, I want to see my friends. I'd be more than happy to go up for the day, though.
Dad: Well, we might be able to go up for just a day...*pondering face*
Me: *hopeful* I'm not really sure what days I'm free yet because nothing has been organised for definite - it's all just speculation and 'save the date' typed stuff.
Dad: If it's not planned for certain then it doesn't take priority. Can you do Thursday-Friday night.
Me:...I thought we weren't going overnight? And no I can't; I'm going to Kayley's that night.
Dad: Well that would be the best night for us...and Auntie Barbara would really like to see you. I'll ring her and ask if Thursday night is good for her.
Me: *head explodes*
*Dad exits the room, signifying the end of the epic fail that is Family Compromise*
But for a brief moment there, I thought I was going to be faced with the kind of decision I HATE making. It's not the 'massively-important-to-your-future' kind; I'm actually pretty good with those. Because you just need to do the reasearch, weigh the pros and cons, maybe get a bit of experience of the options your considering and make an informed decision on which alternative would suit you best. And it's not the little ones, where you generally don't mind which option is chosen. I'll just flip a coin and go with whatever. No, the decisions I hate are the conscience vs. preference type. Allow me to explain.
These HORRIBLE decisions, are basically the ones where you have two options.
Option 1: you don't want to do it, but feel morally obliged to, or have been guilt-tripped into it.
Option 2: you do want to do it, but will somehow be branded a horrible, selfish person if you take it.
Examples: - Do I help Grandma take her shopping back, or disappoint her and actually have lunch, with my friends. Do I go to through the hassle and expense of going to see that play with that person I'm not massively good friends with, or disappoint him and spend an evening relaxing with a good book. Do I go and see the old and frail(ish) auntie in Blackpool, or disappoint my dad and pass a few hilarious hours with my friends. See the dilemma?
And I HATE it, because I almost always take the good-person route, and almost always wish I'd taken the selfish-but-fun one. Admittedly, sometimes the less appealing option surprises me. The play with that friend turned out to be a really nice evening, and there have been many examples of friends guilting me into going to a party I couldn't really be arsed with, which I subsequently really enjoyed. So it CAN happen. Somehow, though, I don't think visiting Auntie Barbara is going to be a riot of surprising excitement. But I know I'll end up going anyway (largely because, in the end, my dad made the decision for me, albeit in a blunt and insensitive fashion). Sometimes I think I'm just too plagued by guilt for my own good. Sigh.
Friday, 11 February 2011
Paper Towns
I don’t very often write reviews on my blog – or if I’ve been reading/watching/listening to something worth reviewing then I’d save it for my end-of-month summary-thing. But this is an exception. Because it has been quite some time since I’ve been in such deep love with a book – to the extent that I still haven’t actually finished it. At the point of writing this, I have about fifty pages left to read, but I’m enjoying it so much that I don’t want the book to end – hence the spontaneous, gushing blog post.
The book is called Paper Towns, by American author John Green (of the YouTube vlogbrothers, if that’s your thing), and I ordered his book in the height of my YouTube obsession. As my obsession faded to a cursory ‘phase’, the book sat on my still-to-read shelf, wedged between the Stieg Larsson tomes and some ‘Classics’ I’ve been neglecting. But last week it caught my eye again and I thought, why not? It’s not like I’ve got 4000-word history essays, English coursework, driving theory and University applications to sort out.
For the first chapter, I wasn’t convinced. It was a bit too American, a bit too ‘high school’, a bit too detailed, trying a bit too hard to be funny. But it hit its stride in chapter two and, by chapter four, I was hooked. Since then I haven’t looked back. The story is kind of a romance/mystery/coming-of-age/comedy hybrid, split into three parts. The first part follows a high-school senior accompanying a girl he has loved from afar for years – the untouchably magnificent, beautiful, enigmatic Margo Roth Spiegelman – on an adventurous, “ingenious campaign of revenge” in one night. But the next morning she’s gone; presumably never to return. The second part chronicles his attempts to follow her clues and find her, and the third part is kind of an extension of the second part only more compact, suspenseful and fast. That make sense?
I wish I could figure out what it is that makes this book so awesome (hell, I wish I could bottle it and sell it), but after thinking far too deeply about it, have concluded that it’s a combination of three things: -
1. The protagonist: Quentin ‘Q’ Jacobsen. Q has a voice that is remarkably believable, witty, ‘boyish’ without being inaccessible to girls and flawed, but hugely likeable.
2. The combination of humour and philosophy: ‘philosophy’ isn’t quite the right word, but what Green has done is enviably clever. On one page you’ll be reading a thoughtful, profound discussion of the ways in which you can imagine someone to be something completely different to what they are, then you’ll turn over and giggle at the mere phrase “world’s largest collection of black Santas”. That is smart writing.
3. The story: it’s so compelling. It’s not just that you’re sucked into the physical mystery of following the clues and fitting them into a logical pattern, you’re drawn into the exploration of the characters – particularly Q and Margo.
But also, it’s hilarious. Seriously. I smile at ‘funny’ books all the time, I let out inelegant snorts now and again, sometimes I even chuckle. But, in Paper Towns, there’s this sequence involving peeing in a car (not literally in the car, but in a bottle in the car...oh, just read it for yourself) that quite literally had me in loud, irrepressible, belly-deep, take-you-by-surprise laughter. (Unfortunately, I was reading this in the bath, and it led to a nasty water-inhalation accident, but – miraculously – I didn’t drop the book, so it’s all good.)
To be honest though, the reason this book has been so special to me is because it’s triggered some personal creativity. I’ve been writing as a hobby since I was twelve – and I worry that people don’t take me seriously when I say that, but I’ve written more than 400,000 words worth of prose in the past few years, I’ve been trying (and failing abysmally) to get a couple of books published since I was fifteen and I love it more than life (I’m sorry if that sounded unbearably arrogant :S). Anyway, the past six months of my writing life have been tormented by the most crippling, unavoidable, confidence-shattering writer’s block that I just haven’t been able to push past.
But I think – and I say that hesitantly – that it’s finally gone. Or, at least, it’s going. And I think that I have Paper Towns to thank. Not only has it made me laugh, entertained me and aided in a somewhat brutal clearing of my sinuses, it’s also inspired me in the true, deep, cheesy meaning of the word. And the only way I can think of to thank John Green is to write this review, and hope that maybe he’ll see it one day. It’s a long shot, and doesn’t by any means cover the extent of my gratitude, but at least it’s something.
The book is called Paper Towns, by American author John Green (of the YouTube vlogbrothers, if that’s your thing), and I ordered his book in the height of my YouTube obsession. As my obsession faded to a cursory ‘phase’, the book sat on my still-to-read shelf, wedged between the Stieg Larsson tomes and some ‘Classics’ I’ve been neglecting. But last week it caught my eye again and I thought, why not? It’s not like I’ve got 4000-word history essays, English coursework, driving theory and University applications to sort out.
For the first chapter, I wasn’t convinced. It was a bit too American, a bit too ‘high school’, a bit too detailed, trying a bit too hard to be funny. But it hit its stride in chapter two and, by chapter four, I was hooked. Since then I haven’t looked back. The story is kind of a romance/mystery/coming-of-age/comedy hybrid, split into three parts. The first part follows a high-school senior accompanying a girl he has loved from afar for years – the untouchably magnificent, beautiful, enigmatic Margo Roth Spiegelman – on an adventurous, “ingenious campaign of revenge” in one night. But the next morning she’s gone; presumably never to return. The second part chronicles his attempts to follow her clues and find her, and the third part is kind of an extension of the second part only more compact, suspenseful and fast. That make sense?
I wish I could figure out what it is that makes this book so awesome (hell, I wish I could bottle it and sell it), but after thinking far too deeply about it, have concluded that it’s a combination of three things: -
1. The protagonist: Quentin ‘Q’ Jacobsen. Q has a voice that is remarkably believable, witty, ‘boyish’ without being inaccessible to girls and flawed, but hugely likeable.
2. The combination of humour and philosophy: ‘philosophy’ isn’t quite the right word, but what Green has done is enviably clever. On one page you’ll be reading a thoughtful, profound discussion of the ways in which you can imagine someone to be something completely different to what they are, then you’ll turn over and giggle at the mere phrase “world’s largest collection of black Santas”. That is smart writing.
3. The story: it’s so compelling. It’s not just that you’re sucked into the physical mystery of following the clues and fitting them into a logical pattern, you’re drawn into the exploration of the characters – particularly Q and Margo.
But also, it’s hilarious. Seriously. I smile at ‘funny’ books all the time, I let out inelegant snorts now and again, sometimes I even chuckle. But, in Paper Towns, there’s this sequence involving peeing in a car (not literally in the car, but in a bottle in the car...oh, just read it for yourself) that quite literally had me in loud, irrepressible, belly-deep, take-you-by-surprise laughter. (Unfortunately, I was reading this in the bath, and it led to a nasty water-inhalation accident, but – miraculously – I didn’t drop the book, so it’s all good.)
To be honest though, the reason this book has been so special to me is because it’s triggered some personal creativity. I’ve been writing as a hobby since I was twelve – and I worry that people don’t take me seriously when I say that, but I’ve written more than 400,000 words worth of prose in the past few years, I’ve been trying (and failing abysmally) to get a couple of books published since I was fifteen and I love it more than life (I’m sorry if that sounded unbearably arrogant :S). Anyway, the past six months of my writing life have been tormented by the most crippling, unavoidable, confidence-shattering writer’s block that I just haven’t been able to push past.
But I think – and I say that hesitantly – that it’s finally gone. Or, at least, it’s going. And I think that I have Paper Towns to thank. Not only has it made me laugh, entertained me and aided in a somewhat brutal clearing of my sinuses, it’s also inspired me in the true, deep, cheesy meaning of the word. And the only way I can think of to thank John Green is to write this review, and hope that maybe he’ll see it one day. It’s a long shot, and doesn’t by any means cover the extent of my gratitude, but at least it’s something.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
This Weekend's To-Do List
I have had quite a productive weekend. I wrote two essays, made some history notes, finished reading a wonderful book and wrote a review of it (which I will be posting as soon as I've finished tweaking it), and finally printed an updated set of photos to stick on my door.
The things I have not done are have an epic folder sort-out in an effort to actually understand the chronology of my history syllabus, figure out how to post a link to my YouTube on my Blogger page, send off some more doomed book submissions and sew up the steadily growing hole in my winter coat.
The thing I should not have done, but did anyway, is spend £20 on Amazon.
As weekends go, it could have been worse. (Oh, and by the way, my YouTube channel can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/bexwithanx29 and if you can tell me how I put that information on my Blogger profile, I will love you forever.)
The things I have not done are have an epic folder sort-out in an effort to actually understand the chronology of my history syllabus, figure out how to post a link to my YouTube on my Blogger page, send off some more doomed book submissions and sew up the steadily growing hole in my winter coat.
The thing I should not have done, but did anyway, is spend £20 on Amazon.
As weekends go, it could have been worse. (Oh, and by the way, my YouTube channel can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/bexwithanx29 and if you can tell me how I put that information on my Blogger profile, I will love you forever.)
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Facebook Faux Pas
I am a frequent user of the social networking site Facebook, and am only slightly ashamed to admit to it. But this being the case, I am regularly forced to read the statuses of about 230 people, most of whom are my friends, some are acquaintences and none are strangers. This has led to a list of formula Facebook statuses that deserve a cyber-slap, but which are trotted out with soul-destroying frequency. So, let me introduce you to the only slightly fraudulent, top ten list of Irritating Facebook Statuses.
1. The 'Pay Attention To Me' Plea
Example: OMG that has so made me feel like crying
Well, I'm very sorry that something has upset you, but let's look at this logically. If whatever this is has upset you so much, you won't want to talk about it, and thus will be made even more miserable by people continuously asking you what's wrong and forcing you to tell them. Solution: don't broadcast your misery on the internet, because most people won't care, and the ones that do won't appreciate being told via Facebook. Clear?
2. The Unnecessarily Frequent Updates
Example: On my way to town (five minutes later) In town (two minutes later) Looking round Primark (three minutes later) Just bought some socks (ten minutes later) Greggs or Subway?
I'll make this simple. You are spamming my Homepage and annoying me. Go away.
3. The Meaningful Song Lyrics
Example: I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
Now I'm sure you understand exactly what Radiohead were thinking when they wrote Creep. I'm sure you can fully relate to it in every possible way, severe mental disorders and all, but do you think you could keep it to yourself? Cheers muchly.
4. The Deliberate Envy-Inducer
Example: OMG, David Tennant just had 600 red roses delivered to my office, plus tickets to see Take That and a handwritten love-letter.
Well now my day feels drastically inferior and rubbish, plus your arrogance levels just spiked and my liking of you plunged. Really, well played.
5. The Declarations of Love
Example: X, I miss you even though you've only been gone twenty seconds. I love you baby...
These statuses are like the cyber equivalent of Valentine's day: massive wastes of everyone's time, designed to make smug people in relationships help single people feel alienated and crappy. If your love for one another is really so deep and personal, can I ask why you're posting it on each other's wall rather than saying it to their face?
6. The Inspirational Mottos
Example: To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.
I just threw up in my mouth.
7. The Emotion Overload
Example: X loves her girlfriends SOOOOOOOOOO much!!! Love you girlies! <3<3<3 xxxxx
It doesn't matter who posts this kind of status, I am picturing a Paris Hilton-esque, blonde, bubbly, distinctly dense and somewhat over-enthusiastic socialite with no real friends and an abundance of neediness. Facebook is best served cold, with a slice of humour and sprinkling of sarcasm.
8. The 'Why Did You Even Bother?'s
Example: X is so bored.
I don't care. Like, at all. My advice to you; get off the computer, stop trying to remind the world that you're alive, make some real-life friends and get out of the house. Fast.
9. The Ambiguous Anger
Example: Can't believe you said that to me you fucked-up mother-fucking arsehole.
I don't appreciate you splattering expletives and nonsensical anger across my Homepage and suggest that you a) calm down or b) actually speak to the person who's horrendous actions have forced you to the friendship-ending depths of posting your annoyance on Facebook. Not that spewing cyber-hate isn't going to cause them to see your status, reflect on their appalling actions and forever alter their future behaviour but, you know, you may want to come up with a Plan B.
10. The Absolute Lack of Punctuation
Example: finally got tickets to reading festival can't wait its gonna be so awesome yay for music yay for festivals like if your going to a festival this year
I am known as the Grammar Nazi for a reason, and this kind of status is more or less it. It does not matter how little I know you, if you post this kind of bilge on Facebook the Obsessive Grammar Alarm in my head will go off, I will inevitably go through each of the many flaws in your status, embarrassing myself and irritating you to considerable depths and probably forever ruining our relationship. The situation can be cleverly avoided by the sporadic inclusion of a comma or two, maybe an apostrophe or - and stop me if I'm being too crazy - a capital letter. Just think about it. All I'm saying.
Did that make me sound like an intolerant, tired cynic with obsessive-compulsive issues and a low threshold for stupidity? Funny, that.....
1. The 'Pay Attention To Me' Plea
Example: OMG that has so made me feel like crying
Well, I'm very sorry that something has upset you, but let's look at this logically. If whatever this is has upset you so much, you won't want to talk about it, and thus will be made even more miserable by people continuously asking you what's wrong and forcing you to tell them. Solution: don't broadcast your misery on the internet, because most people won't care, and the ones that do won't appreciate being told via Facebook. Clear?
2. The Unnecessarily Frequent Updates
Example: On my way to town (five minutes later) In town (two minutes later) Looking round Primark (three minutes later) Just bought some socks (ten minutes later) Greggs or Subway?
I'll make this simple. You are spamming my Homepage and annoying me. Go away.
3. The Meaningful Song Lyrics
Example: I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
Now I'm sure you understand exactly what Radiohead were thinking when they wrote Creep. I'm sure you can fully relate to it in every possible way, severe mental disorders and all, but do you think you could keep it to yourself? Cheers muchly.
4. The Deliberate Envy-Inducer
Example: OMG, David Tennant just had 600 red roses delivered to my office, plus tickets to see Take That and a handwritten love-letter.
Well now my day feels drastically inferior and rubbish, plus your arrogance levels just spiked and my liking of you plunged. Really, well played.
5. The Declarations of Love
Example: X, I miss you even though you've only been gone twenty seconds. I love you baby...
These statuses are like the cyber equivalent of Valentine's day: massive wastes of everyone's time, designed to make smug people in relationships help single people feel alienated and crappy. If your love for one another is really so deep and personal, can I ask why you're posting it on each other's wall rather than saying it to their face?
6. The Inspirational Mottos
Example: To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.
I just threw up in my mouth.
7. The Emotion Overload
Example: X loves her girlfriends SOOOOOOOOOO much!!! Love you girlies! <3<3<3 xxxxx
It doesn't matter who posts this kind of status, I am picturing a Paris Hilton-esque, blonde, bubbly, distinctly dense and somewhat over-enthusiastic socialite with no real friends and an abundance of neediness. Facebook is best served cold, with a slice of humour and sprinkling of sarcasm.
8. The 'Why Did You Even Bother?'s
Example: X is so bored.
I don't care. Like, at all. My advice to you; get off the computer, stop trying to remind the world that you're alive, make some real-life friends and get out of the house. Fast.
9. The Ambiguous Anger
Example: Can't believe you said that to me you fucked-up mother-fucking arsehole.
I don't appreciate you splattering expletives and nonsensical anger across my Homepage and suggest that you a) calm down or b) actually speak to the person who's horrendous actions have forced you to the friendship-ending depths of posting your annoyance on Facebook. Not that spewing cyber-hate isn't going to cause them to see your status, reflect on their appalling actions and forever alter their future behaviour but, you know, you may want to come up with a Plan B.
10. The Absolute Lack of Punctuation
Example: finally got tickets to reading festival can't wait its gonna be so awesome yay for music yay for festivals like if your going to a festival this year
I am known as the Grammar Nazi for a reason, and this kind of status is more or less it. It does not matter how little I know you, if you post this kind of bilge on Facebook the Obsessive Grammar Alarm in my head will go off, I will inevitably go through each of the many flaws in your status, embarrassing myself and irritating you to considerable depths and probably forever ruining our relationship. The situation can be cleverly avoided by the sporadic inclusion of a comma or two, maybe an apostrophe or - and stop me if I'm being too crazy - a capital letter. Just think about it. All I'm saying.
Did that make me sound like an intolerant, tired cynic with obsessive-compulsive issues and a low threshold for stupidity? Funny, that.....
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